Gwyneth Paltrow

Weekend Links

November 11, 2011 @ 11:30 am

Gwyneth Paltrow cleavy award show dress. (GossipCenter)

LeAnn Rimes in a see-through top. (HuffPo)

The Olsens vs. the Middletons. (FoxNews)

Mila Kunis sexiest red carpet appearances. (Celebuzz)

Taylor Swift classes it up for the CMA's. (LaineyGossip)

Sasha Grey has a lot of wisdom to share with these kids. (TMZ)

Melanie Iglesias gets in a bikini for the troops. (Popoholic)

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Sofia Vergara, Kate Winslet, and Minka Kelly Lead Sextastic Stampede at The Emmy Awards

November 1, 2011 @ 8:33 am

Amid the botox and Guinness Record levels of makeup on display at last night's celebration of prime time television, amid the pressure of 40 and 50-something women trying to pass for 30, and amid all the sort of thespianics on most definitely awful television programs, there was celebrity sextastic on display at last night's Emmy Awards. Now, for some reason, long, covering dresses seemed to be in vogue last night on the red carpet, I'm not sure if this is because the vast majority of designers don't get a reflexive tingle in their jingles every time they see a little hot actress skin like most of us do, or if it's just some fashion trend that I would never in a million years care to understand, but there was not much in the way of cleavage or sexy leg on the catwalk.

Nevertheless, sexy ladies did abound including the small screen hotties, Sofia Vergara, Dianna Agron, Christina Hendricks, Emily Blunt, Jane Krakowski (flashing some memorable cleave), Heidi Klum, Kate Winslet, Maria Bello, Minka Kelly, Nina Dobrev, Olivia Munn, and Gwyneth Paltrow and Katie Holmes seemed to tag along just because they had extra tickets and some $5,000 gowns hanging in their closet. Enjoy.

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Blake Lively Go Toe to Toe, Err, Upskirt to Upskirt

November 1, 2011 @ 8:33 am

Well, not often you get two blonde veterans of the sextastic wars to flash some upskirt on the same day, across the Atlantic, and not precisely sure what Blake Lively is actually wearing, perhaps Spanx, nevertheless, it's some kind of sign from the Egotastic! above when Blake and Gwyneth Paltrow nearly simultaneously provide a glimpse up and under their dresses.

Gwyneth was leaving some foufou party in London when try as she may, and she tried to clamp those legs together but good, we still got a teensy tiny view into her Goop, private members only area. And, Blake, well, we know in the privacy of her trailer, the lady doth like to take some naughty photos. But, in this case, it was just a burst of Mother Nature on the set of Gossip Girl providing a momentary PG-rated show. An omen of things to come perhaps? We can only hope. Enjoy.

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READER FINDS: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Sideboobs, Gwyneth Paltrow Buttockals, Kari Byron Back Curves, Paz De La Huerta Bloody Nekkid, Gaelle Garcia Diaz Bikinitastic, and Nina Dobrev Puma Hot

November 1, 2011 @ 8:32 am

Once again, dear readers and fellow blessed perverts, you have outdone yourselves this week's contributions of celebrity sextastic. Consider me honored that on your company's dime, you take the time to contribute to our site and your millions of fellow readers.

This week's Reader Finds includes the stellar T3 actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley flashing some premiere skin, Gwyneth Paltrow truly flashing her apple bottom, Kari Byron going cheek to cheek for fertile perfection, Paz de la Huerta doing what she does best -- being nekkid and scary, even more Gaelle Garcia Diaz almost topless hotness, and vastly underrated hottie Nina Dobrev just looks boot knockable on a soccer field.

Check Out All The Ridonkulous Reader Finds »

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Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Pictures Include Some Delicious Apple Bottom Shots

November 1, 2011 @ 8:31 am

I am of the firm belief that everybody in this world is on vacation but me. The last time I had a vacation, my overly anxious friend Pedro Tranquli locked himself in our beach front motel room jabbering about how the impending Y2K was going to mean the death of the human race. We wooed him out of the room with an elephant PEZ dispenser loaded with Xanax. He slept right through the new years.

Italy seems like a hotspot this summer for celebrity breaks-from-work (or breaks from shopping and lunches); I really must visit these Boot-beaches where we have seen so many sextastic celebs over the past few weeks, including, rather unexpectedly today, Gwyneth Paltrow in a red bikini, the fifth hottest color on the bikini color chart. Now, say what you will about the ex-pat princess, but Gwyneth has certainly held her own in the MILFtastic bikini category. I'm going to guess Pilates, perhaps yoga, maybe a splash of vegan dieting. In any event, it's paying off in red shaped hearts. Enjoy.

(P.S.  It sure seems like we rarely see Gwyneth alongside that elementary-school-haired yodeler from Coldplay any more? Just saying.)

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Gwyneth Paltrow Deserves Hotness Props for Getting Bent

November 1, 2011 @ 8:31 am

Let's give props where props are due. Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow reminds me of the mom who checked all the kids for hidden liquor bottles at high school grad night. A real stick in the mud. It could be because she's a master pimper of all things superficial and luxurious, or because once a year she lectures from her pedicure chair to make some sweeping and declarative political statement on behalf of the world's commoners, or maybe it's just because she's married to that puckish dude from Coldplay, but, still, with all that working against her, she looked awfully hot at last nights 'Bent for Learning' Benefit in New York, and, well, hot is hot and deserves recognition.

Something about this yoga thingee that is keeping these veteran celebrities in super shape; something I definitely need to look into, and, by look into, I mean peeking at hot moms doing yoga through the window while I'm sipping on a YooHoo. Upward facing dog, indeed. Enjoy.

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Ashley Greene, Miranda Kerr, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Rihanna Lead Mega List of Met Gala Hotties

November 1, 2011 @ 8:30 am

What if you had a hottie party and every hottie in Hottieville showed up?

Another year, another invitation to the Costume Gala at the Metropolitan Museum lost in the mail by my postal delivery specialist, Mr. Tritonovich. Alas, I was all dressed up in my finest Zubaz pants with nowhere to get. Thankfully, my good friends from Italy, Signor Paparaazo, kept me busy all evening long with a never-ending stream of sexy celebrities at the Met Gala. The list is ridiculous. Granted, this is a party where a bunch of dudes with exotic names and no interest whatsoever in women's boobs, design a bunch of high-fashion for celebrities and pretend that they care how their models asses look in their couture. Nevertheless, even with billowing fabrics, feathers, and an assortment of things way to complicated for normal dudes to ever undress off of a woman, there was a supernova's worth of heat coming off the Met red carpet last night, among which, my favorites, if forced to choose, were Ashley Greene (just incredibly hot), Miranda Kerr (and her new boobtastic), Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (getting steamier as Transformers 3 approaches), and Rihanna (who more and more resembles a classic sculpture of some hottie princess from exotic lands).

In addition to this quadrangle of sextastic quim, there were a bazillion and one other sexy celebs, but as a result of the beer-drinking-is-making-me-sleepy principal this evening, I did cut the list down to: Evan Rachel Wood (how is this girl not more highly rated?), Lily Aldridge (L.A.'s finest offspring), Bar Refaeli (Israeli hottie), Beyonce (the booty call of my dreams), Fergie (I'd like to add my gravy to her peas), Madonna (oh yea, give it up for Madge at 52), Kristen Stewart (who could not bring herself to smile), Taylor Swift (just a classic beauty), Kate Hudson (pregnant by yet another rocker), Jessica Alba (naturally), Salma Hayek (veteran MILF hottie), Ciara (still don't know who she is, still lust her), Emma Roberts (getting toward sextastic levels), Gwynneth Paltrow (I don't like her, but I'd tap that... nevermind), Christina Hendricks (busty and delicious), Penelope Cruz (en fuego MILF), Blake Lively (the newest hottest ginger), Sofia Vergara (the maker of wanton dreams), Lea Michele (Glee petite sweet), Dianna Agron (mo' mo' Glee hottie), Gisele Bundchen (belongs on every hottie list), and Zoe Saldana (one of my secret lust crushes).

Wow. If you remove all the hotties from that list and add my grandma, you have my most recent birthday party E-vite YES list. Enjoy.

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