Britney Spears' Bikini Vacation

11:17 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

I'm not really sure why Britney Spears needs to take a vacation, but here she is relaxing, and dancing in her bikini in Cabo over the weekend. Britney got her dance on in and out of the pool, and all I can think of is when they tell you not to run around the pool, because it could be wet, and you could slip, and fall, and crack your head open, and why that didn't happen to Britney. Oh well, there's always the inevitable overdose.

And yes, I admit it, Britney actually looks okay in that bikini. I'm just as confused as you are. More Britney Spears bikini pictures after the jump.

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Britney Spears in a Bikini is Smoking... In Front of Her Kids

12:35 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

In case you needed any more reasons as to why Britney Spears lost custody of her kids, here are some Britney Spears bikini pictures where she's smoking in front of her kid, and he's playing with a bowl full of lighters and a pack of cigarettes. All I have to say is, it's a good thing she's not a gun nut. Or is she? Of course, given Britney's track record, this isn't the least bit shocking. And frankly, I don't even think it's that bad.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm very much opposed to smoking, and especially smoking in front of your kids, but it's probably the best thing Britney can do for them. After all, when Britney Spears is your mom, you know you're going to need a way to deal with the stress, so they better start puffing away as soon as they can. Of all their future problems, it will be the least.

Photo credit: X17

Link: Britney Spears in a Bikini is Smoking... In Front of Her Kids

Britney Spears' Hairy Ass Upskirt

01:00 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Ugh. I wish I could unsee these Britney Spears upskirt pictures, but sadly I cannot. So I'm inflicting them upon you instead. Hey, if I can't be happy, nobody can. Anyway, here's Britney on another night out, and even though she's wearing underwear, you can still see some grossness happening in the ass area. Is that hair, stretch marks, the general diseased state that is Britney Spears? She might want to spend a little less time eating Cheetos, and a little more time at wherever it is ladies go to take care of that stuff.

Photo credit: Flynet / INF Photo / bauergriffinonline.com

Link: Britney Spears' Hairy Ass Upskirt

Britney Spears Bikini Pictures: Still Not Sexy

12:20 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

I really have no idea why I'm posting these Britney Spears bikini pictures. She hasn't looked good in years, and these pictures are no exception. She still looks pregnant, even though she's probably not, which means that belly isn't full of babies, but Cheetos (and God knows what else).

Anyway, it's too late to take it back now. What's done is done, and we all have to live with it. I wish that someone would just burn all of Britney's bikinis, but knowing her, she'd just walk around naked, so I guess this is better than the alternative.

Photo credit: X17

Link: Britney Spears Bikini Pictures: Still Not Sexy

Britney Spears' Bikini Reveals She's Not Pregnant, Just Fat

12:06 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

With her recent weight gain, and Mel Gibson whisking her down to Costa Rica, many have been speculating that Britney Spears is pregnant again. But as you can see from these Britney Spears bikini pictures, she's just getting fatter. Her belly is definitely bigger, but those rolls of fat clearly show the only things causing that bump are burgers. Or Cheetos in Britney's case.

I don't even know why I'm posting all these Britney Spears bikini pictures, since they're the farthest thing from sexy I've seen in a long time, but you can't win 'em all. At any rate, there's lots more after the jump, if you've got the stomach for them.

And what the fuck is up with those Spears girls and their stupid ATVs?

Photo credit: Splash News

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Heidi Montag and Britney Spears Make Sweet... Music?

10:14 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Hey, wanna hear something really sad, and pathetic? Then take a listen to this new song featuring Britney Spears and Heidi Montag, called "Dramatic." Yes, that's right, the two most ridiculous figures in the "music" industry have joined forces in what can only be an attempt at mutual career suicide. Granted, Britney's career was over long, long ago, and Heidi Montag's music career has only ever existed in her own warped mind.

So, you feel like listening to just about the worst song ever recorded in the history of the Universe? You know you do. Oh, and don't forget about Heidi Montag's bikini music video, either. That one's a real gem.

Listen to the Song:

Britney Spears and Heidi Montag "Dramatic"

And here are some Heidi Montag pictures, because as much as she continues to become more and more plastic, at least she's not Britney Spears.

Photo credit: WENN

Link: Heidi Montag and Britney Spears Make Sweet... Music?

Britney Spears' Vagina is Jealous of Lindsay Lohan's Nude Photos

11:22 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Wouldn't you know it, the day after those hot Lindsay Lohan nude photos came out, Britney Spears' vagina rears it's ugly head again. Jealous much!?

As if Britney Spears wasn't sad and pathetic enough, she made sure to hike up her dress and show off that she wasn't wearing any underwear at all. But it's not like she's in a mini-skirt. She's in a full length dress, and she's wearing a parka! I believe the word for that is "deliberate."

Photo credit: WENN / INF Photo

Link: Britney Spears' Vagina is Jealous of Lindsay Lohan's Nude Photos

Britney Spears Boob Slip Video

02:01 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Okay, I'm really not sure if you actually want to see this or not, but I got a couple emails from readers about it, so here it is. Now, if you ask me, the novelty of any Britney Spears nudity has long since lost it's lustre, and I really don't need to see her saggy, dirty tits again, but just in case that's the sort of thing you're into, check out the video, and fast forward to the 3:25 mark to catch Britney Spears breast popping out of her top.

Watch the Video:

Britney Spears Boob Slip Video

Link: Britney Spears Boob Slip Video

Another Britney Spears Upskirt Sans Underwear

12:30 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Dear Britney Spears,

Fishnet stockings are not a replacement for underwear. While we admire your attempt at finding an alternative to simply going completely, outright commando in a tiny skirt, loose weave fishnets don't actually cover up very much. Furthermore, torn fishnets cover up even less.

In the future, we would appreciate if you actually wore some underwear, or if you really must not, why not try staying home? I understand you have a few of them.

Thank you,

Egotastic!

PS - You are fucking crazy. You might to get that looked at.

Photo credit: X17

Link: Another Britney Spears Upskirt Sans Underwear

Britney Spears: Naked Shopper

12:06 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Britney Spears

Oh Britney, whatcha gone done this time? If you've been paying attention to all the Britney madness of late (which we haven't, really), you already know Britney Spears is bat shit crazy. Yes, that's the medical term. So it should really come as no shock that the other day saw Britney Spears naked, in the middle of a Betsy Johnson boutique in the Westfield Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks, California.

No, I'm not exaggerating here. Britney Stripped completely naked, and walked around the store. And if that wasn't bad enough, she then went back into her cabin, and had sex with her paparazzi boyfriend for some 45 minutes, reports Life & Style. Ew. Icky ick, ew.

Britney grabbed dresses from the racks and disappeared into a dressing room with Adnan. Moments later, Britney came out completely naked, shocking salesclerks!

"I was blown away. Britney's private parts were right in front of me!" a store employee tells Life & Style.

"I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, 'Get away from me! Don't you fucking come near me!' says the employee.

"Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting."

When Britney and Adnan stumbled out, Britney mumbled something unintelligible. "I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent," says the employee. "Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone.

"Then she muttered, 'Fuck you!' and left the store."

In one way, you've actually got to admire Britney. She is single-handedly redefining the concept of "rock bottom," one meltdown at a time. That being said, you are all strongly cautioned not to enter the Betsy Johnson store in the Westfield Fashion Square, as it is currently a biohazard zone.

Here are a few pictures from the last time we saw Britney Spears naked in a store, just to remind you that this isn't actually the first time she's done this. Although she has managed to take the concept of public nudity to a seriously disgusting new level.

Photo credit: Splash

Link: Britney Spears: Naked Shopper