Anna Chapman, Sex-Crazed Topless Russian Spy

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As a service to our readers, we present some news of the day... hmm, let me see, what sticks out in today's news? I know! The sex kitten Russian nymph spy who liked to punish herself with nipple clamps, snap her riding crop, and bang the living hell out of her target husband who had no secrets to give up in the first place. Anna Chapman, Anya I guess, introduced her husband to spankings, the Mile High club, sexy photos, and, apparently, a non-stop, four years of knocking boots thrice a day. I'm still trying to figure out who to feel sorry for in this story. I guess it's Russia. Back in the day, a good Soviet KGB femme fatale could bump uglies with Western male targets and not completely lose their heads. Spies these days, they don't make 'em like they used to. ??????.