Victoria Beckham

MTV Movie Awards 2007 Mega Picture Post – Plus: Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman Almost Kiss

June 4, 2007 @ 2:52 am
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Once again, it was that time of year when celebrities gather to pretend that receiving a bucket of gold-plated popcorn is anything more that just a reason to come out an pimp their new movies. Thankfully, this year's MTV Movie Awards were fairly entertaining, and anytime you have the opportunity to see Paris Hilton get royally burned, well, that's a moment to savour. Big thanks go out to host, Sarah Silverman, for not pulling any punches.

And speaking of Sarah Silverman, she and Jessica Biel sorta, kinda, almost kissed. It was a cruel joke, but it was still damn hot. Make sure you .

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Victoria Beckham’s Nipples are Actually Covered

May 21, 2007 @ 11:07 am
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Well, here's something you don't see everyday: Victoria Beckham's nipples are actually covered. Well, that's not true, actually. It's that despite whatever steps Victoria Beckham might take to cover her nipples, be it a bra, or just a black shirt, her crazy, robotic nipples always manage to shine (or is that poke?) through.

But today we see Posh Spice taking a different tact: Pasties! Which are actually a fitting choice for her, since Victoria Beckham's breasts are so fake she won't ever actually need to wear a bra for support. So why bother? Just keep the nipples covered and you're good, right?

If you ask me, though, she's not actually wearing the pasties. I bet her robo-nipples actually transformed into the shiny, petal-shaped bits. It was probably an upgrade.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

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Victoria Beckham’s Nipples are Unstoppable

 
April 30, 2007 @ 3:04 am
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If you thought that a mere bra and black shirt could hold back Victoria Beckham's nipples, then boy were you wrong. I don't know what metal alloy, what blend of Titanium, Iron, and Uranium make up Posh Spice's robotic nipples, but no flimsy fabric can keep them at bay.

The real question, naturally, is how the hell David Beckham hasn't poked his eyes out yet on those things. Well, the answer is simple, that pretty-boy is obviously gay, and Robo-Spice here is his custom built android beard. Don't believe me? Well how else would you explain nipples that are one inch in diameter, and almost as long?

You can further investigate the oddity of Victoria Beckham's nipples in the rest of the pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash / Flynet

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Victoria Beckham’s Nipples Can Kill You

 
March 27, 2007 @ 1:58 am
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Watch out! Victoria Beckham's nipples are set to kill! The Fembot's giant robo-nipples are at the ready, and are in Attack Mode. Someone call Austin Powers, she's set to blow!

But really, I don't know how anyone can find Victoria Beckham attractive. There isn't a single part of her body that's still real, and not made of some sort of artificial polymer, especially not her breasts. Add to that the fact that she could put out an eye, or worse, with those giant spear-tipped orbs, and I know I'll be keeping my distance.

David Beckham is a far braver man than I thought.

Seriously, you won't believe the size of Victoria Beckham's nipples. Make sure you check out all the images.

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Victoria Beckham in Playboy? No Thanks!

January 19, 2007 @ 3:00 am
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Have you ever wanted to see Victoria Beckham nude in Playboy? Well, I think that's pretty gross, but you might get your wish, if Hugh Hefner gets his, that is. According to British paper, The Times, Hugh and his playmate girlfriends are eager to have Victoria Beckham pose naked for Playboy magazine, saying she would fit right in.

The former Spice Girl was today given a glimpse of the opportunities awaiting Britain's most famous couple when they move to Los Angeles this summer when she was invited to take part in a Playboy "pictorial" by Hugh Hefner, the magazine's founder.

Speaking with three of his playmates, Hefner said that he was confident that David Beckham would be a huge success in America when he comes to start playing for Los Angeles Galaxy in August and offered something to occupy his wife while the midfielder starts to earn his promised $250 million (£129 million).

"She should do a pictorial with us. We've got big plans for her. I think she's going to fit in fine."

First of all, I don't know who it's worse for to say that Victoria Beckham would fit right in at Playboy magazine. Do they mean that her disgusting fake breasts and expressionless face are just what they're looking for, or do they mean that Playboy magazine regularly features concentration camp victims with disgusting fake breasts? Either way, I'm not looking forward to that photoshoot, and neither should you.

Victoria Beckham should be wearing more clothes, not less, and she should definitely not be naked.

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Victoria Beckham’s Nipples Looks as Fake as Her Breasts, and Well, the Rest of Her

December 22, 2006 @ 2:36 pm
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You know what's scary? Victoria Beckham, that's what. And, no, I don't mean who. I most definitely mean what, since the actual status of Victoria Beckham's legitimacy has a human is still inquestion.

If ever there was proof of functioning Alien Fembots walking amonst us, it's Posh Spice, and her pistol-tipped silicone spheres. I'd love to find the user manual for Robo Spice, if only to locate the off switch for those artificial nipples.

It's just too bad her creators couldn't make her look more natural. As a proof of concept, I suppose it's impressive, but it doesn't really pass for human.

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Victoria Beckham Hates her Naked Body

October 9, 2006 @ 10:23 am
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You know, of all the celebrities out there, Victoria Beckham has to be one of the most unattractive, in my opinion. But according to The Daily Mail, Posh isn't so hot on herself either. In fact, Victoria Beckham thinks she looks awful naked.

The wife of former England captain David tells [Australia's Harper's Bazaar magazine] that having three children and then losing so much weight afterwards has left a rather unsightly legacy on her tummy. "I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach," she says.

While despite the efforts of airbrushing experts - working on a recent poster advertising the couple's new fragrance - to make us think otherwise, she actually has "no bum at all."

Mrs Beckham added: "I might fit into jeans but, trust me, I look really awful naked."

Okay, so Victoria admits to a flabby stomach and no ass, but what about the ridiculous fake breasts (that look like cantaloupes), and her anorexicly thin frame? Frankly, I'm feeling sick just thinking about it. At least Posh knows she's gross, but since she's got the money, she'll probably just keep trying to solve her problems with more plastic surgery. In the end, I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up looking like a soccer ball. At least her husband will be happy.

More pictures of Scary Spice, I mean Posh Spice, after the jump.

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