Egotastic
Okay, I must admit, I didn't really dig too deep on the nature of this event, but somebody important in England was having their 50th birthday party, and you know they're important because they're 50th birthday was being celebrated at a museum and a whole bunch of super hot celebrities attended. I'm expecting my 50th birthday to be similar to all my past birthdays in that it will consist of me at The Sizzler with my friend Jeremy who just did a Whip-It in the bathroom and a girl whose name I can't remember with a dangling canker sore on her lower lip. The same, but different.
Among the sextastic hotties who appeared for this dude's party were the hot super bodied Kelly Brook, in a short short dress that reminded us, as if we needed reminding, why short short dresses were invented for women in the first place, and the delightfully cleavetastic Tulisa Contostavlos, who last we saw in a four year old sex tape polishing the knob of some twit and then confessing to the world that she was in fact the knobgobbler in the video. Everybody's got a story to tell. Especially the lucky bastard who has Kelly and Tulisa come to his birthday party. I bet he's got some great stories. Enjoy.
Tulisa Contostavlos Named FHM’s Sexiest Woman of the Year (But Jessica-Jane Clement Sideboob Wins Our Hearts)
I'll say this for FHM's annual 100 Sexiest Women of the Year announcements -- they're never predictable. Inherently, all 'tops' lists are flawed by the Heisenberg Principle, if not the principle that democratic voting kind of sucks, for as Churchill said, to paraphrase, to understand the shortcomings of democracy, spend five minutes talking to the average voter (check it out, Heisenberg and Churchill in the same Egotastic! post -- you should get school credit for this!).
FHM Top 10 (of 100) Sexiest Women Winners:
Anyhow, the point is, our readers are amazingly awesome thoughtful critics of the sextastic, but FHM's, well, we love them like our bastard brothers we only learn we had at way too late an age, but last year they included Lady Gaga in their hottest list and this year, Tulisa Contostavlos takes top honors. Don't get me wrong, I'd empty every shekel in my measly bank account to be the next guy called up for the Contostavlos oral-fetish sex tape, she's a good looking young rapping kind of woman, but tutto di tutti hottest?
Well, you be the judge. As for us, we thought the likes of Jessica-Jane Clement and her sideboob, Helen Flanagan and her big boobtastic, and Georgia Salpa and her city-sized cleavage all kind of stole the actual show. Enjoy.
Read More » »