Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara in Black Stretch Pants Just Has to Be Awesome

Yes, it's the highly typical female celebrity gym look these days -- stretch pants, tight top, $5,000 handbag, $300 sunglasses -- kind of the gym meets Rodeo Drive lunching. But when it's Sofia Vergara in said skin tight workout gear, then not only do we pay attention, but we check the sensation of what feels like the dropping of a third nut, because this newly single veteran hottie makes our anatomy shift and contort into all types of unorthodox poses.

Sofia Vergara is freshly single and ready to make you tingle, which should make the mingling part for her come quite naturally. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba, Sara Jean Underwood, and Aubrey O’Day Among the Hotties Showing Off in This Week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

It's something like a phenomenon, baby. These hot celebrities just can't stop celebrating their own hotness by way of Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and other media where they get to control what goes out there of their own image. And, by control, I mean they simply can't get enough of showing themselves off to the general public. Without egos, there'd be no Egotastic!

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the precious delights of Jessica Alba and Sofia Vergara partying together on Cinco De Mayo, Sara Jean Underwood flashing her every ready cleavage, Adrianne Curry in some memorably revealing poses, Aubrey O'Day showing lots of nekkid butt, and so much more goodness, it must be seen to be be-lusted. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Dumps Long Time Rich Boyfriend; Somewhat Less Than Rich Egotastic Stands Ready to Rebound

It is with a heavy heart that we announce the breaking up of Sofia Vergara and the rich dude from Florida she's been dating for the past couple of years or more. Sadly, Sofia Vergara announced through her spokes little people that she is once again single and available for a brand new shtupping partner.

Not only are we in line for that job, but have been camping out waiting at the front of the line for two years now, so, Sofia, my Colombian sweetheart, call me, now. Don't hesitate. We can bake chocolate chip cookies together, watch sad romantic movies and have a great cry, or just procreate like rabbits until our private parts fall off from excessive wear and tear. I have my choice among those, but you make the call. Now, make the call.

Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Sofia Vergara Lead List of Hotties at the Met Museum of Art Costume Gala

Now, the last time I got invited to a costume party, I attended the event dressed as one of the members of the Teletubbies, so you can imagine how long ago that way, like three or four years now. And I somehow didn't receive my invitation to the more prestigious, celebrity A-list only Metropolitan Museum of Art annual Costume Gala, that brings out essentially every single top tier star in Hollywood to this swank N.Y.C. dress up event. I bet they're not serving up Gino's Pizza Rolls in that shindig.

While not invited, we still get the benefit of seeing this amazing plethora of sextastic celebs, of which we picked our 15 or so favorites, led by the likes of the super busty hot Scarlett Johansson, ever red carpet stealing Sofia Vergara, Cameron Diaz looking especially bosomy protruding, and Anja Rubik in a dress you will not soon forget, just to name a few.

Check them all out and see who you think would make your hottest virtual prom date. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara See-Through Top for the Muy Caliente Win in GQ Mexico!

 

Oh, how we have waited for this day, this blessed day, to see into the inner workings of the Hot Boobtastic Factory that is the almost 40-something Colombian hottie Sofia Vergara. Now, thanks to GQ Mexico, we get a see-through glimpse into the nipple-tastic world of one of the premierely bosomed women in the celebrity world.

Sofia Vergara has mesmerized men for many years now with that smoking hot curvaceous body of hers, but seeing inside the form-hugging, cleavage baring dresses have been a chore and a half (though we remain ever committed). So just the chance to see her milkers with stars has made us ever so happy today. We're blaring our trumpets here in the office, and, no, that's not a euphemism, we're using actual trumpets. Enjoy.

Sextastic Twitpic Roundup Includes Self-Published Hotness from Sofia Vergara, Kelly Brook, Katy Perry, and Much More…

What would you say if I told you there were some amazingly candid sextastic pictures available from the likes of uber-hotties Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara, Kelly Brook, Candace Bailey, Danielle Lloyd, and Katy Cocktease? And what if I told you, they snapped and sent out these photos all by themselves, for the love of spreading personal ogle-worthiness to the world? Well, you might thank the combination of ego (not Egotastic!, just plain old ego) and Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr for providing an outlet for such ego.

Check out all those delicious self-published denizens of Hottieville and much more in this week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Puts On Her Own Curvy-Hotness Show in Manhattan

We really have to think about extending our stay here in New York this week, what with all the talent walking the streets (and walking their little teeny tiny dogs) in this fair burgh, not the least of which is Sofia Vergara, who floats our boat in so many different waves, perhaps because her own bodily curves so mimic the oceanic shapes that have seamen thinking about their womenfolk left back on dry land.

Just catching Sofia Vergara strutting about Manhattan in her white top and jeans was enough for us to start penning a musical about sextastic celebrities exhibiting their hot bodies in the spring time weather in the Big Apple. Admittedly, like most playwrights, this project will take us ten years to accomplish, and we'll need a lot of the drink, but we've already got the thick black faux glasses on and the first line of the opening number, 'Oh, Sofia, how we'd like to snarfle your undergarments...'

Okay, so it's a work in progress. Enjoy.