Paris Hilton

Bangin’ Bongos

Audrina Patridge can barely contain her boobage. (Celebuzz)

Demi Lovato and Jojo squeeze close together. (Idolator)

Jessica Simpson shows her serious, serious curves. (HuffPo)

There can be only one Kim Kardashian. (FoxNews)

Paris Hilton gets pissed. (GossipCenter)

Is Britney Spears jealous of her MILF mom? (GossipCop)

Happy birthday, Gisele Bundchen! (TheChive)

Newly Single Billionaire Barbie Headlines Red Carpet for Radio Shack EVO Launch

As a kid who spent way too much time in Radio Shack asking nerdy questions about every single component in the building, and being in a group of boys who never bought a thing, just wasted time, I'm still not sure how that store is even open. But, apparently, Radio Shack abides. And they even put on a big launch party for one of the new smartphones out this week, can't even say which one exactly, but I'm sure it claims to be even more amazing than its predecessor, though probably still can't use it to make actual phone calls.

Still, when you get the likes of Billioniare Barbie (back on the HSV-man hunt), uber cheerleader Amber Lancaster, Playmate Jayde Nicole, L-Word hottie Sarah Shahi, and blonde TV sexy bomb, Jaime King, to get decked out and come to your little shindig, you're probably doing all right. Enjoy.

Billionaire Barbie Flashes Big Cleavage For Her Little Reality Show

She may be a bubble-headed bleached blonde with a penchant for powdery bumps and racial insensitivity, but give it up for Billionaire Barbie, for when she dolls up, she's still very ogle worthy. The heiress who could care less is working her way through Los Angeles these days with a film crew in tow for her World According to Paris reality show, in which the freshly Botoxed fräulein parties and shops and retrieves secreted baggies from inside her little pooches pouches. It's like watching a train wreck in such slow motion, that it takes eight years before you see the wreckage. Still, Bilionaire Barbie has herself a good time and doesn't really hurt anybody. In fact, by pushing up her boobs to the nth degree, she's making many of us leering types quite happy, so, in the end, let Paris be Paris. Enjoy.

Pheromoans

Kim Kardashian shows some midriff. (HuffPo)

Jessie J stepping up the sexiness. (Celebuzz)

A hot cougar painted like a tiger. (SocialiteLife)

Miss USA parties too much. (FoxNews)

Shania Twain and Taylor Swift go over the edge. (GossipCenter)

Paris Hilton isn't impressed with Weiner. (PopEater)

Stacy Keibler see-through shirt. (DrunkenStepfather)

Cockpit Tease

Olivia Wilde is cleared for take-off. (Popoholic)

Salma Hayek Venetian cleavage bomb. (Celebuzz)

Paris Hilton strips down for a bubble bath. (FoxNews)

Miranda Kerr has Seoul. (GossipCenter)

Other Gossip Girl, Leighton Meester, in a sexy new commercial. (PopEater)

The two biggest Justin Bieber fans. (CollegeHumor)

Hot, naked models looking all serious. (DrunkenStepfather)

Tight End

Holly Madison plays football in a bikini. (Celebuzz)

Susan Sarandon only gets hotter with age. (HuffPo)

Paris Hilton talks about her sex tape. (FoxNews)

Jennifer Aniston vs. Courteney Cox. (GossipCenter)

What's better than hot chicks?  Hot chicks with their twin sisters! (TheChive)

Pippa Middleton royally sweet backside. (DrunkenStepfather)

Avril Lavigne flashes bikini cleavage. (Popoholic)

Billionaire Barbie Pimps Her New Reality, Or Is It the Same Old Reality

"I'm turning 30 this year, and it has made me think it might be time to say goodbye to Paris the party girl and hello to Paris the grown-up. And maybe hello Paris the wife and mom"

-- Opening voiceover from 'The World According to Paris'

Egad! Billionaire Barbie has been short-skirting and leggy-flirting around the major TV talk shows this week, promoting her new Oxygen Channel (which, up until today, I admit, I thought was the name of an Australian emo band) TV show, The World According to Paris, which features the heiress doing all sorts of things you could care less about, because really unless she's got the meerkat night eyes working the nekkid-end of an amateur sex tape again, you're probably not tuning in. Still, I give the all grow'd up blonde party girl credit for wanting to document her daily existence for posterity, and her posterior, before it starts to droop and club promoters stop paying her to shake it at their openings.

I actually really liked The Simple Life. I'm not a hater. But if somebody impregnates this woman, well, you're in for a rough lifelong commitment (and, no, I don't mean just with herpes). Enjoy.