Kelly Bensimon

Kelly Bensimon Nipple Slips Finally Something Real (and Hot) About the N.Y.C. Housewives

 

The Real Housewives biggest problem is that they're just boring. Also, they do tend to look like the mummified remains of ancient Egyptian wives dug up and re-animated for some type of modern museum tour. The amount of facial reconstructive surgery among those housewives is quite stupendous from a scientific standpoint. However, there are one or two of the lot of them boozing, shopping, plastic surgery messes that do still tickle our fancy, including N.Y.C Housewives veteran Kelly Bensimon, who has been down in Miami Beach this week on some kind of 'I want attention' tour working out in public, jogging, playing tennis, shopping in tiny outfits, none of which kind of seemed altogether share worthy with our readers -- that is until now.

Kelly took to the waters off the Miami Beach shoreline and don't you know, off came her top revealing a quite delightful nipple slip. Now, knowing what we know about reality television and its denizen, the cynical among us might say this wardrobe malfunction was more publicity stunt than accident, but in this modern world of fame whoring, it's so very hard to tell the truth from the reality b.s.. So, for the most part, we just try to sit back, ogle, and enjoy.

 

Kelly Bensimom and Tinsley Mortimer Bikini Pictures: Socialites in South Beach Heat

I once attended a socialite function with a girlfriend, some type of formal ball that involved lots of announcements and polite applause, and way too light all around on the booze. I felt awkward and out of place, not so much for my internal self-esteem issues, but because no less than four people came up to me during the function and told me I looked awkward and out of place. I really hope they were referring to my sky blue croc footwear and not the fact that I was flop sweating through my rented tuxedo. In either event, that was enough high society to last me a life time.

On the other hand, there's no denying, there were many hotties. Among the group of girls who starve themselves to get back at daddy for loving his golf game more than his kids, there are some sweet young lasses who look upon an outsider and member of the plebe class as a chance to really stick it to dad. So, in short, it's pretty easy pickings if you've ever taken a psych class.

All of which leads me to far more uppity Tinsley Mortimer, New York socialite and celebutante who is sort of a Paris Hilton, but with a brain, so smart enough to stay out of most troubles. Tinsley and her girlfriend and New York Housewife Kelly Bensimon, a 43-year old MILFtastic specimen in her own right, have been down the past few days in South Beach, tanning, or filming, or just looking for rich men, or all of the above, and doing so in various forms of body-sharing bikini looks. It's a nice little late Winter ogle-thing.

So if you dig the mature rich ladies hanging by the pool, hang your eyeballs on these two, and, enjoy.

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Body Is the Single Thing Worth Watching on Real Housewives

The entire collection of Real Houswives of...reality shows is a giant intellectual turd that ought be flushed from the popular culture bowl as quickly and completely as possible. Nothing good can come from glamorizing the goings-on of half-baked mummy mommies whose lives center around purses, Range Rovers, and botox injections. That being said, I'm compelled to give credit where credit is due, and some is definitely due to the bikini body of Kelly Bensimon of the New York edition. Were it so that all these moronic and catty drinking divorcees were rendered unable to speak, and the camera remained focused on the asstastic of Kelly Bensimon on the beach, well, then this boob tube content might just be watchable. That is one fine MILF body, deserving of mention, and ogle. Now, make these shows go away, please. Please. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Splash News / INF Photo / Fame

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures Depict the Mom of the Kid We All Pretended to Like

There's the cliche story of the boyfriend being unable to use the "L' word with his girlfriend because of its difficult in utterance for many adult males. Personally, never had a problem with it. I love playful dogs. I love my big screen LCD. And, I have no problem saying I love my girlriend. Why do guys have such a hangup? It's the 'M' word that frightens me like no other boogeyman story ever told. Marriage. Now we're talking 'for whom the bell tolls'. Gulp. Shiver. Panic.

Its under this pretext that the mere concept of a TV show about housewives, even supposedly hot housewives, has always kind of given me the heebie-jeebies. However, talent is talent and I've got to give it up for the masterly motherly form of Kelly Benismon, one of the Real Housewives of New York City and these bikini pictures which show off the kind of mom whose son suddenly become the most popular boy in school. You know, that kid you didn't like all that much, but damn if you weren't over at his house everyday after school just for a chance to watch his mom doing the laundry. Or was this just me? Guys? Guys??? I suddenly feel very creepy.

Photo credit: Splash News