Up front let me say, I have no idea who half of the kid-land starlets of today are exactly. It's not exactly as if I'm perusing Nick shows during 'tween hour to get in solid chunks of laugh-track backed junior high comedies. However, my young concubine, the delightful Inez P. Minge, spends most of her days eating bulk licorice and watching Victorious, etc, so I got a bit of the insider's scoop.
At this weekend's Kids' Choice Awards Show, where essentially 12-year old girls pass judgement on what constitutes talent, the usual cast of celebrity characters made their marquee mark on the red carpet and on the stage, and, let's be honest, if 12-year old girls ran the world, we'd be in a shitload of trouble.
Still, the gathering was call to bring together a bunch of Hollywood hotties, young, and a bit older, all dressed in G-rated frocks that showed a lot of leg, but no cleavage, like lip gloss ad girls, cute, but without a hint of sexuality. Included among them were Katy Cocktease, whose team of publicists insist that she's happy, so she must be, Selena Gomez, who can't ever not look hot, Halston Sage, some young sextastic blonde with a made-up name form the Nick stable (and one of the few above 18 in the lineup, so we can actually officially call her 'hot), Ariana Grande, Heidi Klum, Victoria Justice, Ashley Tisdale, and a bevy of other farm system young model-actress types bursting at the teen seems to breakout into famous starlets. A fine mix of innocent with 'just discovered their naughty side' made for a fun evening. Enjoy.
Egotastic
The Boobtastic Billboard Awards, Short on Taste, Long on Cleavage
Who is anyone to judge popular music? I mean, it's called popular music because it's popular it's not called the 'amazing music' category, in which case, one could argue that the overproduced, monotonous, auto-tuned, simplistically arranged, auditory assault that is much of popular music is anything but amazing, unless you're 12, a girl, and you think LOL is an actual verb. Nevertheless, pop music always has brought out the hotties, which forces even grown men to pay attention to the good vibrations emanating from last night's Billboard Music Awards in Vegas where a number of sweet boobtastic blinkering babes of music put on a decent show of skin while Justin Bieber cowered in his fur lined jacket in the corner and whimpered for the lady parts to go away.
And, none brought the boob shtick better than Miley Cyrus, who has been outright dominating the pop diva flashes and bares and all-around Pilates body hotness scene in her category of late. Continuing to dominate the competition, Miley donned what seemed to be a side boob baring jacket with nothing underneath, and no pants to boot. In an outfit that only the confident hotties feel confident in, and good for Miley for earning her way into that category. Of course, Kate Cocktease also looked rather boobtastic even if still under the weather from her personal life blues, along with Taylor Swift, the G-rated version of a very X-rated fantasy about Taylor I can't stop having, Brandy, who looked pretty damn hot, and Amber Rose, who always puts on a wonderful display of the chest puppies for the big occasions, and was in attendance because she's fellating some music star again these days, I can't remember which, but she looks good.
All in all, watchable, just not listenable. Enjoy.
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