Egotastic
Kate Beckinsale can read my mind. I mean, hopefully not the deepest recesses of my mind where she lay bare and naked, on the plush 70's carpet lining my rumpus room, covered only by semi-discreet circles of Cheez Whiz around her... well, let's just say it's the deepest recesses of my mind. But in the more shallow recesses, lay my strong desire to see Kate Beckinsale join the parade of winter time celebrity hotties trotting down to points South to flash their sexy bikini bodies at resorts where I could only hope to smell their Coppertone scented towels while they cooled off in the water. So, she packed her frilly bikini and off she went for the benefit of all mankind, flashing just about the hottest MILF body in the universe beneath the tropical sunshine. These Kate Beckinsale bikini pictures may just be the end of me. Personally, I made it to the first butt shot before I uncorked a bottle of tequila with my teeth and starting crooning canciónes to my beloved. Enjoy.
Photo credit: Splash News
After the Oscars: Selena Gomez and Jessica Biel and Other Hotties at the Vanity Fair After Party
After the film industry-wide circle jerk concludes, and the lights go down on the Kodak theater, the real parties in Hollywood begin. None more important each year than Vanity Fair event, where the magazine brings out all the big names, most of which weren't actually close to being Oscar worthy, but, still hot, including this year my niece/girlfriend Selena Gomez (yeah, we cut the midget out of the picture), Taylor Swift looking all gold and on top of the world, Natalie Portman fresh off her Best Actress win, Jessica Biel, who I miss dearly, Brooklyn Decker, who I can't get enough of, the Glee sisters, Dianna Agron and Lea Michele, and Nordic blonde twinsies Cameron Diaz Gwynneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, veteran hottie, Jennifer Hudson, whose miracle cleavage was one of the stars of the Oscars, and Kate Beckinsale, forever ridiculously sexy. In short, if everybody had stripped off their clothes and jumped into the pool, it would've been very close to a recurring and very private day dream of mine. (Still, Gino's Pizza Rolls nuked from the garage freezer deep thaw, a La-Z-Boy recliner, and a glass of adult milk is nothing to sneeze at for an Oscar's after-party either.) Enjoy.
Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News