Used to be you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a Jessica Biel post on this site, but that was a while ago, and why are you swinging cats? That's cruelty to animals. Anyway, like I was saying, it's been a while since we've even seen Jessica Biel, and while this isn't her sexiest outing ever, a little Jessica Biel is better than none, and she's still retardedly pretty. Not sure why she's on the cover of Marie Claire, though. I suppose I could read the interview, but fuck that, I'm lazy. Let's just hope this is the start of lots more Jessica Biel to come.
Well, this is fucking depressing news. If you believe the rumours that The Sun is reporting, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake may be getting married soon. But that's not all. Word is, it might be because Jessica Biel is pregnant. If you feel like killing yourself, now would be the right time. Here's what the report said:
He will soon be proposing and has already started looking at potential wedding venues -- or in his case, islands. The two have been dating since January last year and rumours are rife they may already be planning a family.
One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: "Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica."
So, lets see. Jessica Alba is pregnant. Scarlett Johansson is engaged. Sienna Miller is engaged. Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant. Ashlee Simpson is married and pregnant. Katie Holmes is married, with a kid, and is totally batshit crazy. And now Jessica Biel!? What the fuck is going on? I swear, if Natalie Portman gets knocked up by that bearded hippie freak of a boyfriend of hers, I will fucking lose my shit.
Now, to make this news sting even more, here are the hottest pictures of Jessica Biel I could possibly find. Hurts, don't it?
I never thought of casting Jessica Biel as a Native American Warrior Princess, but I think Disney has the right idea in giving her the role of Pocahontas. No, this isn't for a new movie, but actually Disney's new theme park ad campaign. And even though it's G-Rated, there's definitely something about seeing Jessica Biel gone native to get the blood going.
Of course, every time I've ever seen Pocahontas in an accurate historical depiction, she's topless, but somehow I don't think we're going to see Jessica Biel topless, and definitely not from Disney. Still, when it's Jessica Biel, it's hard not to turn Pocahontas into "poke that hot ass."
Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on with Jessica Biel's face? Now, I know she's not wearing any make-up, and that most celebrities really aren't anything special without make-up, but Holy Crap! It's like someone scraped all the pretty off of Jessica Biel.
And her lips! What's going on there? It looks like she beat up Heidi Montag, and stole all her lip collagen. Jessica's upper lip doesn't look bee-stung, it looks like she was attacked by an entire hive.
Seriously, these Hollywood girls need to get it into their heads that plastic surgery never makes anyone look better. Ever. Or maybe it's just that all the plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills really did go to Upstairs Hollywood Medical School. Paging Dr. Nick!
Click on the thumbnail for a truly frightening close up of Jessica Biel's newly fuggified face. Also, Blonde: Not a good colour for Jessica Biel.
1| Barely Legal Alert! We Introduce Barbara Palvin, Victoria’s Se… |
2| Kate Upton Bikini Photoshoot Behind the Scenes Hot Bodied Awes… |
3| Lourdes Lujan Topless Hotness for a Peruvian Edition of Ta-Ta … |
4| Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Lady Joys on a Motherf**king Yach… |
5| Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures Candidly Display a Hot Girl I… |
 |
Kate Upton Bikini Photoshoot Behind the Scenes Hot Bodied Awesomeness (VIDEO) |
 |
Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures Candidly Display a Hot Girl In Her Bikini Prime |
 |
Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Photos Take a Dip in Dripping Goodness At Eden Roc Hotel |
 |
Ashley Olsen Bikini Pictures Are Unexpectedly Pretty Hot |
 |
Kate Upton Beach Bunny Bronze Bikini Collection for Precious Mammary Perfection |
Egotastic
Jessica Biel’s Naked Photos: Her Worst Regret
Back in 2000, when she was just 17, Jessica Biel got naked for Gear magazine. It was one of the greatest moments in photographic history, and to this day, is still the high point of Jessica Biel's career. However, the actress doesn't quite see it that way, and says the nude photos are one her biggest regrets. Saying it was a "really bad deecision," Jessica told Entertainment Weekly her "sad" story, reports RTE.
Well, I, for one, really don't think that Jessica Biel's naked photoshoot for Gear was a bad decision. And, frankly, I don't think you'll find a guy in the world who would agree with her. And besides, without that photoshoot, Jessica probably wouldn't have appeared in such cinematic masterpieces as Stealth, Elizabethtown, or Blade: Trinity.