Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria Wardrobe Malfunction on Letterman

April 7, 2011 @ 11:00 am

Can you spot the nipple slip?  Many viewers claim to have seen the bare nipples of the stunning Eva Longoria in her Letterman appearance. I think I do. I know in my mind I do. I know her top opened up and David got to see. And, I know she has some amazing legs. But bare nipple? You be the judge.

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Single, Hot, Rich: Eva Longoria Hits the N.Y. Talk Show Circuit

April 5, 2011 @ 10:24 am
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
Eva Longoria at Good Morning America
Eva Longoria at Good Morning America
Eva Longoria at Good Morning America
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
Eva Longoria at The Late Show
View the Gallery / 25 Photos »

Ah, to be sexy and divorced in the Big Apple. Oh, yeah, don't forget to throw in a veteran killer body, shown off in a couple little numbers that show off such things. Eva Longoria hit Good Morning America by day and The David Letterman Show by night, taking time to move in and out of wardrobe so sexy  it could thaw the polar ice caps (sorry, polar bears, you're fucked again), flashing her tight little body and hot booty and legs, in not-so-desperate housewife fashion. I remember when I first heard about the Eva Longoria-Tony Parker divorce; I think we all shed a few tears at that moment, but, like the good soldiers and instinctive cock-blockers that we are, it was quickly time to start moving past loss, and move on to conquest. Some lucky bastard is going to be winning the Eva Longoria prize package soon and I'm going to be left holding a slightly melted Fudgie the Whale cakes in consolation. Enjoy.

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Olivia Munn and Eva Longoria: Battle Cleavage!

January 31, 2011 @ 11:11 am
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I love boobs. Celebrity boobs are just the nth degree of my love for boobs. So, a hot cleavage battle falls right into my wheelhouse, especially between D&D hot wizardess Olivia Munn shopping in some fancy smancy Soho store, and the now officially divorced hot housewife, Eva Longoria, on the set of her show I never watch. Oh, if only my grade school invention of the miniaturization device had panned out, I could shrink myself to cleavage size and burrow into these soft warm bosoms of these two sextastic celebrities. Yeah, it's a weird fetishy dream, I know, but it's mine and I'm sticking with it. Olivia Munn cleavage versus Eva Longoria cleavage, there are no losers. Enjoy.

Photo credit: bauergriffinonline.com / Splash News

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2011 Golden Globes Sexiest Red Carpet Arrivals

January 16, 2011 @ 11:59 am
View the Gallery / 28 Photos »

Okay, those who stuck with me through the night know that I was in some trouble with my girlfriend for ogling down the hottest celebrities on the red carpet at this evening's 2011 Golden Globe Awards. I'm in the doghouse, but while I am, I'm going to envision a cathouse filled with my favorite sexy celebrities of the evening (in no particular order of preference, all these ladies may assault me in perverse ways at their discretion):

Anne Hathaway, Dianna Agron, Emma Stone, Megan Fox, Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, Maria Menounos, Naya Rivera, Nicole Kidman, Amy Adams, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, and Mandy Moore.

Photo credit: INF Photo / Fame

Remember to check out Celebuzz if you're looking for a full fix of pics and stories from the 2011 Golden Globe Awards.

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Eva Longoria, Are You Single Or Not? (VIDEO)

December 2, 2010 @ 11:01 am
View the Gallery / 6 Photos »

My be-lusted Eva Longoria still seems to be getting divorced from Tony Parker; given the complex series of counterintelligence moves by their P.R. yentas, it's hard to tell the truth. The most recent act in this marital infidelity saga has the formerly blissful couple filling out all the legal paperwork to divide the massive assets, then again, Eva Longoria and her soon to be ex were seen just last night holding hands and having a cordial evening out in Santa Monica. Why are you toying with my heart (and other parts), Eva Longoria?

While I await final word of my clear path to awesome hotness, here's a collage of Eva Longoria in lingerie from Desperate Housewives, to serve as additional fuel to my lust-filled fire. Enjoy.

Watch the Video »

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Are Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Divorcing Or Not? I Ready My Game Just in Case

November 16, 2010 @ 5:20 pm

(Update 11/17/10: Divorce back on! Hopefully, we can all treat this as a private matter between two private individuals. That being said, Eva, call me, I'm here, next to the phone.)

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Gretchen just ran into my office while I lay in quiet, thoughtful repose to alert me to the news that my longtime object d' lust, Eva Longoria, was divorcing her NBA husband, Tony Parker, and that this finally means Eva and I can be together. Well, Gretchen didn't say that last part, but it was certainly swirling through my head, as I thought of just the perfect words to say to Eva Longoria in these desperate moments, when she would need a strong shoulder to cry on, and, you know, a rebound knock, if I might mix metaphors and fantasies simultaneously.

Now, it seems, effin' TMZ has retracted their tale of the cessation of relations between Eva and Tony and my dreams have been shattered. But, for one shining moment, it was me shopping for two-thousand dollar shoes with Eva in some Euro-boutique, sipping my brewski, feeling mighty fine with my lady.

Photo credit: INF Photo

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MTV European Music Awards Roundup: Sideboobs, Cameltoes, Panties and Bras, Oh, My

 
November 8, 2010 @ 2:45 pm
View 16 All-Stars Photos »

The last time I was in Madrid, I drank so much wine that I woke up three days later in Barcelona with a headache and a credit card that had been maxed out to some company called 'Easy Chicas Ltd'. If I'd been forced to attend last evenings MTV European Music Awards, I probably would've drank twice as much. The talent flown in for this Faustian festival resembled a jailbreak at the Alice Cooper reformatory school for girls.

Special nod to the almost barely legal Miley Cyrus, for the daily double of sideboobs on the red carpet and flashing a cameltoe during her EMA show performance that would make even the most veteran Bedouin blush beneath their robes. Other props to Eva Longoria, who doesn't really sing or play music as far as I know, but still managed to pull off the bike-pants with panty-flash beneath a short short dress for the MTV EMA Egotastic! red carpet win, followed close behind by taut Goth teen queen Taylor Momsen flashing her black lace bra, Shakira baring her super hot Colombian little body, Katy Perry dressed as a ticket that apparently grants the bearer one lifetime of cockteasing.

Enjoy.

(Shoutout to Egotastic! super fans, 'Ramistheman' and 'Jason C' for the Miley pics!)

Photo credit: Splash News

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