Egotastic
Fuck me, this year's Oscar show was beyond brutal. Besides a few funny jokes from Steve Martin, and Ben Stiller in Avatar makeup, it was a complete and utter waste of fucking time. There weren't even any sexy dresses on the red carpet, so what we have here is all the hot ladies I could find from all the various Oscar parties going on his weekend, arranged (mostly) in order of cleavage.
Christina Hendricks
Hilary Swank
Miley Cyrus
Anna Kendrick
Tatiana Ali
Diane Kruger
Carey Mulligan
Elizabeth Banks
Natalie Portman
Vanessa Hudgens
Maria Menounos
Kelly Brook
Carey Mulligan Drinks To Forget Transformers Boy
I remember the first time I broke up with Shia LaBeouf. Who doesn't remember their first time. We were at the Santa Monica Pier, highest point of the Ferris wheel overlooking the mighty Pacific Ocean. Shia had just finished shooting Indiana Jones; I had just finished eating a gallon of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. He looked tired. I felt bloated. He looked through my eyes and into my soul and I knew right then it was over. I vomited a bucketful of designer ice cream onto the crowd below.
Carey Mulligan seems to be handling her LeBeouf split far better than I. Albeit, she too looks like she could hurl here, after what one would assume was somewhere between 1 and 100 cocktails consumed at the Chateau Marmont (where John Belushi died, from a different kind of cocktail). Rumor has it, Carey Mulligan has been sleeping in a cheap motel on the Strip since her breakup with the curly-haired wunderkind. However, looking as hot as she does here, even with her eyes forced shut by alcohol, it won't be long before she's back on her game. Still, Carey, if you need a shoulder to cry on. I know how it feels. Call me. And, enjoy.
Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com