Gentlemen, you've got 40 short days left until the lady in your life measures the entire value of your relationship, and, let's be honest, you short term ability to 'git sum', based upon your plans to feign, pretend, and otherwise not be your real self when it comes to the sickly sweet romance department. It's not so hard really, like a prostate exam, you don't want to do it, but you know at some point you've got to just suffer a bit o' pain in the rear out of common practical sense.
Thanks to the good and silky-nothings producing people at Victoria's Secret, and the likes of the super sextastic Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, and Miranda Kerr, you can get an advanced look on the lingerie you'll be wanting to buy your girl come February 14. Now, we always preface our Valentine's lingerie pictures with this warning: objects in your mirror may not be quite the same shape as Victoria's Secret angels, so, do measure expectations accordingly. I've found from my own ghosts of Valentine's lingerie past that letting out a noticeable giggle during the unfurling of the silky underthings portion of the evening does little to assist in the conjugal portions of the evening. So, please, work on your 'wow!' right now; practice it, perfect it, and come six weeks from now, after an early bird dinner at Sizzler, some freeway offramp flowers, and a bit of satin and lace, you too will be getting down with your lady to the dulcet tones of Def Leppard on the bedroom audio system. Enjoy.
Egotastic
Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Turn The Waters Warm in St. Barts
Victoria's Secret has been doing some major bikini shoots down in St. Barts the past week or so and all we can think about is -- why are we not in St. Barts. These second-guessing pangs arrived when we saw Adriana Lima looking all kinds of ridiculously hot on the beach at the end of last week in her photoshoots, and those pangs have gotten even stronger and more directly pointed toward the gonadial regions as we leered at these candid shots of the uber-hot Candice Swanepoel during her turn for the V.S. cameramen (a.k.a., the luckiest dudes in the world).
Take your time with each bikini change, trust me, it's a nice buildup.
Oh, Candice, to swim but for a few minutes in your bodily waters. Almost too much to contemplate. Enjoy.
WHEN WE FIRST SAW CANDICE IN A BIKINI