Gentlemen, you've got 40 short days left until the lady in your life measures the entire value of your relationship, and, let's be honest, you short term ability to 'git sum', based upon your plans to feign, pretend, and otherwise not be your real self when it comes to the sickly sweet romance department. It's not so hard really, like a prostate exam, you don't want to do it, but you know at some point you've got to just suffer a bit o' pain in the rear out of common practical sense.
Thanks to the good and silky-nothings producing people at Victoria's Secret, and the likes of the super sextastic Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, and Miranda Kerr, you can get an advanced look on the lingerie you'll be wanting to buy your girl come February 14. Now, we always preface our Valentine's lingerie pictures with this warning: objects in your mirror may not be quite the same shape as Victoria's Secret angels, so, do measure expectations accordingly. I've found from my own ghosts of Valentine's lingerie past that letting out a noticeable giggle during the unfurling of the silky underthings portion of the evening does little to assist in the conjugal portions of the evening. So, please, work on your 'wow!' right now; practice it, perfect it, and come six weeks from now, after an early bird dinner at Sizzler, some freeway offramp flowers, and a bit of satin and lace, you too will be getting down with your lady to the dulcet tones of Def Leppard on the bedroom audio system. Enjoy.
Egotastic
READER FINDS: Sara Jean Underwood Nekkid Yoga, Selena Gomez Nipple Pokes, Kelly Brook Bikini Uber-Hotness, and Much Much More…
Yep, it's my very favorite time of the week, the time when on this 4/20 holiday, much like the weedies that will be joining forces in fields of clover to communally smoke a bowl, we all come to together to collective puff some hotties, courtesy of our more than generous reader contributions.
This week's Reader Finds include Sara Jean Underwood doing nekkid yoga, Selena Gomez with a nipple poke, Kelly Brook in a classically bodacious bikini photoshoot, a double shot of Aussie love with Lauren Vickers nekkid in the Bunny mag and Phoebe Tonkin in a very sexy set of photos, Adriana Lima see-through a decade ago, Ariana Grande almost almost nipple slipping, Rosie Jones most definitely without clothes, a nekkid shot of Lea Seydoux that quite possible actually isn't Lea Seydoux, Estella Warren doing topless advertisements overseas, and Euro-supermodels Hana Jirickov and Dioni Tabbers wicked naughty hotness. It's like an endless bowl of hotness.